IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay Analysis: University's Main Function - Score 6.5

University plays an important role in students' lives in this competitive world. However, whether universities' higher education should provide more academic knowledge or professional work skills to students is a controversial issue. I agree with the view that the colleges should mainly teach basic knowledge for its own area, which can benefit more than teaching practical skills to students, for the following reason.

To begin with, the basement of those practical skills is basic academic knowledge. Skills expertise is the process of using certain methods to achieve goals, and it should be under the guidance of theories and principles. Pure knowledge is the first step to learn skills; without that, students have to put more efforts on learning skills, and cannot use it properly as well. Therefore, it is essential for universities to focus on theories and academic learning as a pre-requisite for further study and work.

Moreover, students need a better academic performance to meet the requirements of applications and entry tests for their postgraduate education. A higher education experience can help them to find jobs which can provide more salaries and comfortable work areas. This is because most companies higher those with great class standing. For example, global companies such as Amazon, Tencent and Microsoft will set up a series of job requirements that are hard to achieve extremely in order to hire more excellent applicants to join the companies. So, students need to get more academic practice and higher scores provided by universities.

However, that is not to say that universities should not teach any job-related skills, because it can help students cope with work and problems quickly, and can increase the possibility of finding a job. But unfortunately, there are still many practical experiences students can learn from their internships. Meanwhile, with the development of Artificial Intelligence, some basic work has already been replaced due to less expense and better efficiency.

In conclusion, basic academic knowledge should be put in the first place in universities, which can create more possibilities and achievements in students' future. Meanwhile, other parts of education should also be concerned, and it can give students access to the new trend of work requirements and the needs of the whole society. Only by doing so can universities develop fluently and positively.

Overall, your essay is well organized and contains relevant arguments. However, there are some areas for improvement. Based on the IELTS Official Writing Criteria, I would give your essay a score of 6.5.

Firstly, your essay meets the minimum word count requirement and is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You also provide relevant examples to support your arguments. However, some of your sentences are too long and complex, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your ideas. It is important to use shorter sentences with clear and concise language to convey your thoughts effectively.

Secondly, you provide a clear position in response to the prompt and support it with reasons and examples. However, you could have provided a more balanced view by acknowledging the opposing argument and explaining why you still hold your position. This would have shown a deeper understanding of the issue and demonstrated critical thinking skills.

Finally, although your essay is well-structured, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that make the essay difficult to read. It is important to proofread your work carefully to avoid these errors.

Overall, your essay shows potential but needs to improve in terms of language use, critical thinking, and grammatical accuracy. To improve your writing, I would suggest practicing writing shorter sentences with clear language and proofreading your work carefully to avoid errors. Additionally, try to develop a more balanced view by acknowledging opposing arguments and explaining why you still hold your position.