雅思小作文图表描述:货物运输方式变化趋势分析及得分
雅思小作文图表描述:货物运输方式变化趋势分析及得分
这篇文章针对一篇关于1974年到2002年英国货物运输方式变化趋势的雅思小作文进行分析,并根据雅思小作文评分标准进行打分,并给出修改建议。
题目:
The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
你的答案:
The diagram gives information about the quantities of goods transported in UK from 1974 to 2002 by four different methods. As can be seen on the graph, Road by far took the largest amount of goods transported quantities and Pipeline accounted the least in contrast. It is also noticeable that pipeline was the only mode that showed a downward trend between 1974 and 2002, while other three methods witnessed a increase at the same period. Road and Water were the most two popular ways when transporting goods. Road witnessed a considerably rise from 70 million tonnes to almost 100 million tonnes. Similarly, the number of Water also increased from 40 to 70 million tonnes at the same time. There was a fluctuation in the number of Rail in 1978 and it lasted for 20 years. However, the figure remained at 40 million tonnes , which was only rose slightly compared with the beginning.Pipeline witnessed went up gradually from about 5 million to 20 million tonnes between 1974 to 2002.
评分: 6.5 分
评分原因:
- 报告内容: 你对图表的主要特征进行了摘要描述,并进行了比较。你提到了四种运输方式的数量,并描述了它们在1974年至2002年期间的变化趋势。你也提到了Road和Water是最常用的两种方式,并描述了它们的数量增加情况。此外,你还提到了Rail和Pipeline的数量变化。这些都符合题目的要求。
- 语言表达: 你使用了多种句式和词汇来描述图表,使得句子结构清晰。然而,有一些句子可以更加简洁明了,以提高作文的流畅度。
- 数据描述: 你正确地描述了图表中的数据变化趋势。然而,有一些数字可以更具体和准确,以增加作文的详细度。
修改意见:
- 在描述Road和Water的数量增加时,提供更具体的数字和比较。例如,'从70 million tonnes增加到almost 100 million tonnes',可以改为'增加了大约43% (从70 million tonnes到almost 100 million tonnes)'。'从40 million tonnes增加到70 million tonnes',可以改为'增加了大约75% (从40 million tonnes到70 million tonnes)'。
- 在描述Rail和Pipeline的变化时,可以使用更直接的表达方式。例如,'There was a fluctuation in the number of Rail in 1978 and it lasted for 20 years. However, the figure remained at 40 million tonnes , which was only rose slightly compared with the beginning.' 可以改为 'Rail的运输量在1978年出现了波动,并在接下来的20年里持续波动,最终在2002年略高于1974年的水平。' 'Pipeline witnessed went up gradually from about 5 million to 20 million tonnes between 1974 to 2002.' 可以改为 'Pipeline的运输量从1974年的约5 million tonnes 逐渐增加到2002年的20 million tonnes。'
希望以上修改意见对你有帮助!加油!
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