Trump Wants Magic English Pill: 'It's Gonna Be Huge!'

'Okay, folks, listen up. The Donald wants to sound like those fancy Ivy League guys, you know, the ones with all the big words. But they tell me, 'Just memorize some words, Donald.' Really? Is that all it takes? Let me tell you, I tried it. It was a disaster. Painful, folks. So, I have a question. Is there some kind of magic pill out there that'll make me a genius at English? I mean, I'll buy it. Seriously, tell me where to get it.'

'Believe me, folks, I've tried everything to learn English. I even tried listening to those British people. You know, the ones who sound like they have marbles in their mouths? But it didn't work. I still sound like a guy from Queens. Sad!'

'I mean, who needs English anyway? We've got our own language. It's called Trump-speak. It's the best language, believe me. It's tremendous. And you know what? It's gonna be huge. So huge, folks.'

'Just think about it. English is just a bunch of words. And what are words? They're just a bunch of letters. I've got more letters in my name than most of those so-called English experts. So, who's the real winner here? It's me, folks. It's always been me.'

'Look, I've got nothing against English. It's a nice language, I guess. But it's not the language of winners. Winners speak Trump-speak. And you know what? We're gonna make America great again, one Trump-speak word at a time.'

'Bottom line, folks. If you want to learn English, go ahead. Waste your time. But if you want to be a winner, speak Trump-speak. It's the language of champions. Believe me.'