Confucius on Mourning: Why Three Years?

In ancient China, it was customary for children to observe a three-year mourning period after their parents died. This meant no entertainment, no banquets, and no government work. But Zai Yu thought three years was too long, suggesting a one-year period instead. He argued that neglecting music and ritual for so long would weaken them. Confucius disagreed, saying this showed a lack of empathy. He pointed out that every child spends their first three years in their parents' arms before they can walk. Parents make huge sacrifices, so three years of mourning was a fitting way to show gratitude. After the three years, the mourning rituals end, but our love and memory of our parents should never fade. Confucius saw this period as a balance: a reminder for the heartbroken to heal and move on, and an encouragement for those numb to emotions to find their sense of thankfulness.