Ubisoft: A Satirical Poem on the Gaming Giant's Flaws

Ubisoft, oh Ubisoft, how you do amaze With your broken promises and delayed release dates. You make us wait for years, our patience you test, But when the game finally drops, it's buggy at best.

Your games are littered with microtransactions, Your greed knows no bounds, it's a source of distraction. You offer us 'free DLC,' but we all know the score, It's just a ploy to get us to spend more.

Assassin's Creed, Far Cry, Watch Dogs and more, You keep churning them out, it's becoming a bore. The same old formula, with a fresh coat of paint, You're like a fast food chain, but with less restraint.

Your open world games are filled with endless fetch quests, We're supposed to be having fun, but it feels like a test To see how long we can tolerate the monotony, But we're not all masochists, we're just looking for quality.

Your characters are bland, with no depth or soul, They're like cardboard cutouts, with no real role. We're supposed to care about their struggles and strife, But we're left feeling empty, with no emotional life.

Your marketing is slick, with flashy trailers and hype, But when the game comes out, it's just a tripe. You promise us the world, but deliver just a fraction, It's like a bait and switch, with no satisfaction.

Ubisoft, oh Ubisoft, when will you learn That your fans deserve better, we yearn For games that are polished, with no bugs or glitches, And characters that are real, with no artificial stitches.

So please, oh please, take a step back And give us something that's worth the cash. We'll still buy your games, we're not going anywhere, But we deserve more than just a half-hearted affair.