When my wife was still here she refused to let me pay for everything we both went 5050 on everything groceries bills non foods everything and now its just me its hard but Im surviving

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It can be challenging to adjust to new circumstances, especially when you were used to sharing expenses equally with your wife. However, it's great to see that you are managing to survive despite the difficulties. If you need any advice or support, feel free to ask.