IELTS Writing Task 1: Fire Plan Analysis & Band 6-6.5 Sample Answer

This post analyzes a sample answer for an IELTS Writing Task 1 question about a fire plan diagram. We'll assess its strengths, weaknesses, and provide a likely band score. Additionally, we'll offer corrections and suggestions for improvement.

Original Task:

The diagram shows the fire plan for the second floor of a student dorm building in university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Please first give the following writing scores with IELTS standard, secondly, comment and finally correct it.

Sample Answer:

'This map illustrates the preparation in case of fire for a student dorm’s second floor which builds in university.

Overall,there are two meeting points which Meeting point 1 is for Bedroom 1,2,and 3,while the northern meeting point 2 is for the other four bedrooms.The lift saw unuseful when fire occurs.

Meeting point 1 set under the western stairs for 3 bedrooms,being located in northwest and southwest,to meet.Bedroom 3 is the nearest one to the stairs,while bedroom 2 and 3 have the approximate distance to the stairs.

Students in bedroom 4 to 7,at the direction of southeast and northeast, will meet at north point along with the stairs.Bedroom 7 is close to the stairs,while bedroom 4 and 6 are a little bit farther compared with bedroom 5 and 7.In addition,someone who is in lift need to exit when fire,going down along the stairs and meeting at point 2.'

Assessment:

Estimated Band Score: 6 - 6.5

Strengths:

Task Achievement: The response generally addresses the task by describing the main features of the fire plan and making some basic comparisons.* Organization: The information is presented in a logical order, moving from an overview to specific details.

Weaknesses:

Grammatical Accuracy: There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, articles, and punctuation. * Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is quite basic and lacks precision. There are instances of awkward phrasing.* Coherence and Cohesion: While the overall structure is logical, the writing lacks smooth transitions between sentences and ideas.

Corrected and Improved Version:

'This diagram illustrates the fire evacuation plan for the second floor of a student dormitory building at a university.

Overall, there are two designated meeting points for residents in case of a fire. Meeting Point 1, located under the western stairs, is designated for residents of Bedrooms 1, 2, and 3. Meeting Point 2, situated to the north, is for the residents of the other four bedrooms.

Bedroom 3 is the closest to the stairs at Meeting Point 1, while Bedrooms 1 and 2 are approximately equidistant from the stairs.

Residents of Bedrooms 4 to 7, located in the southeast and northeast sections of the floor, should proceed to Meeting Point 2, situated near the northern stairs. Bedroom 7 is in close proximity to the stairs, while Bedrooms 4 and 6 are slightly farther away compared to Bedrooms 5 and 7.

It is important to note that the lift should not be used during a fire. In the event of a fire, anyone in the lift should exit and use the stairs to reach Meeting Point 2.'

Improvements Made:

Grammar and Vocabulary: Corrected grammatical errors, improved sentence structure, and used more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'designated,' 'situated,' 'proximity').* Coherence and Cohesion: Added transitions and improved the flow of information for better clarity.

Tips for Improvement:

Practice regularly: Consistent practice with IELTS Writing Task 1 questions is crucial.* Focus on grammar and vocabulary: Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and expanding your vocabulary range.* Review model answers: Study high-scoring sample answers to understand the desired structure and language.* Get feedback: Have your writing evaluated by a teacher or tutor to identify areas for improvement.

IELTS Writing Task 1: Fire Plan Analysis & Band 6-6.5 Sample Answer