Tell me nice old jokes

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't a chicken.