你能帮我鉴赏一下并且帮我修改一下我写的歌吗歌词如下：Hey girl dont need excuse 你的一言一行都是我奋斗的理由 想成为人间的赛特陪在你左右 不管春天夏日还是过了几个秋 你的眼睛里布满了整个银河系 想挖掘每一颗星球作为根据地 俯身轻靠感受脚下每一寸土地 亲身体验你身体里奇妙的纤细 你总能无时无刻吸引我的注意 像是北极星指引人们前进的轨迹 But this time能不能给我一个

Hey girl, no need for excuses Every word and action of yours is my motivation I want to be the Saturn of this world, by your side No matter spring, summer, or a few autumns have passed Your eyes are filled with the whole Milky Way I want to explore every planet as a base Bend down and feel the land beneath my feet Experience the wonderful delicacy in your body You always manage to catch my attention Like the North Star guiding people's trajectory But this time, can you give me a response? This time, let's make a moon just for us Sharpen our edges and slow down the rhythm So you won't get tired of my feelings What I want now is to have dinner with you Not just reporting in every day and saying goodnight, baby Don't be shy, just give me one more night Show me what you like, let me love you all night Hold up, I don't want to lose my ring In my heart, I am the king and you're my queen I can handle any beat style, never give up my real soul for money Like the stars that never fall in the night sky You don't have to be on guard against my love for you I'm not a top rapper, but I can write a nickname just for you Wanting a better life is not just someone's nagging Let's hold hands and move forward, not just talk about it Baby, you don't have to deliberately make me angry Even if my current mood is completely determined by you The new era of love is talked about thoroughly I believe we will become the exception in their mouths In my eyes, you are the Aphrodite Just hold onto your sheets and follow my rhythm Don't be shy, just give me one more night Show me what you like, let me love you all night Another night, another fight Show me what you like, let me love you all night Just give me one more night, let me love you all night