The Gaokao Machine: A Student's Story of Pressure, Mental Health, and Finding Freedom

Good morning, everyone. Today, I want to share with you a personal essay that reflects the reality of education in my country and the importance of mental health. In China, we have a notorious exam called the Gaokao, which holds immense significance for students like me. It's believed to determine our entire future. As a result, we find ourselves consumed by this exam, constantly repeating and memorizing materials, and forgetting the true essence of education.

Most schools in China finish the content in two years and spend the third year reviewing. However, my senior high school took a different approach. They selected forty smart kids, including me, to take grade 10 courses while we were still in grade 9. We finished all the courses early, leaving us almost two years to repeat the material and strive for a perfect score.

But this intense pressure had unforeseen consequences. One of my close friends, W.Y., used to be a straight-A student, always laughing and enjoying life. However, his grades took a turn for the worse after we finished all the courses. I could sense that something was troubling him, but he couldn't bring himself to talk about it. He would mention dreams and aspirations, but our responses were always about grades or something irrelevant. Until one day, he stopped showing up at school.

At first, we thought he might have fallen ill. But as time went on and he didn't return, I became concerned. I couldn't contact him and began to fear the worst. Eventually, I discovered that the immense pressure surrounding the Gaokao had taken a toll on WY. He had succumbed to serious depression and decided to drop out of school for a semester.

Learning about WY's struggle made me pause and reflect upon my own mental well-being. As I looked at myself, it felt as if my soul was flying out of my body, observing the entire class. All the students were like machines, working hard without feeling, and I too was one of these machines. My soul gazed upon my body, a vessel that moved mechanically as if controlled by unseen forces. It was like a puppet, dancing to the whims of other puppets around it. Yet, upon closer observation, it became clear that all the puppets were entangled in a complex web of control, each one influencing the next. There was no singular puppet master manipulating the strings; instead, it was a tangled network of interdependence. It was a startling realization - I too was grappling with mental problems. Caught in the whirlwind of endless studying and competition, I had unknowingly trapped myself in a meaningless loop. All my efforts were directed towards running in one direction, but I hadn't even spent time deciding which path to take.

Determined to make a change, I decided to visit WY and have a conversation with him. By the end of our conversation, I made a decision to explore areas outside the narrow scope of Gaokao and to begin learning English seriously. I decided to pursue higher education in the Western world.

Education is meant to nurture our minds, broaden our horizons, and help us develop both intellectually and emotionally. It should not be reduced to a single exam that determines our worth. Yet, in the midst of preparing for Gaokao, the true purpose of education often gets lost. Students become so focused on achieving high scores and securing a bright future that we forget to explore our passions, cultivate critical thinking, and embrace the joy of learning.

It is crucial for us to break free from this monotonous loop and rediscover the true essence of education. We must prioritize our mental well-being, explore different areas of knowledge, and pursue our interests. Gaokao may play a role in shaping our future, but it should not define our entire existence. Let us remember that there is more to life than a single test and that our worth extends far beyond a score on a piece of paper.

In conclusion, I urge all of you to prioritize mental health, both for yourselves and for those around you. Let us not lose sight of the true purpose of education and the importance of nurturing our minds and souls. Together, we can break free from the chains of a single exam and create a future where education is about growth, exploration, and personal fulfillment. Thank you.