Overall, your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear argument. However, there are some areas where improvements can be made in terms of language use, organization, and coherence.

Grammar and Sentence Structure: 6.5\

  • There are some grammatical errors and sentence structure issues throughout the essay. For example, "That is because disposable products that are prevalent such as one-use chopsticks and underwear are mainly packed in sterile means" can be better written as "This is because prevalent disposable products, such as one-use chopsticks and underwear, are primarily packaged in sterile materials."\
  • Some sentences are too long and complex, which affects the clarity of your ideas. Try to break them down into shorter, more concise sentences.

    Vocabulary: 6.0\
  • The vocabulary used in the essay is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of word choice and variety. For instance, instead of saying "That is because," you can use phrases like "This is due to" or "The reason for this is."\
  • Attempt to incorporate more advanced vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.

    Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0\
  • The essay lacks clear paragraph division, which affects the overall organization and structure. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and focus on one main idea.\
  • The essay would benefit from the use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

    Task Achievement: 7.0\
  • Your essay addresses the question and presents a clear argument for both the reasons behind the throwaway society and the potential problems it can cause.\
  • However, you could provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.

    Overall, your essay would score approximately 6.5 based on IELTS Writing Task 2 standards. To improve your score, focus on improving grammar and sentence structure, expanding vocabulary, organizing your ideas more effectively, and providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

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