IELTS Writing Task 2: The Rise of Disposable Products and Its Impact

Overall, your essay is well-structured and provides clear arguments and examples to support your points. However, there are some areas where you can improve the grammar and sentence structure. Here are some suggestions: \n\n1. In the introduction, instead of saying "From my perspective," you can use a more formal phrase like "In my opinion" or "From my point of view." \n\n2. In the first paragraph, you can rephrase the sentence "two main reasons contributing to this situation are that people are pursuing improved personal hygiene and convenience and the costs of thrown-away items have been significantly declined nowadays." Here's a suggestion: "There are two primary factors contributing to this trend: the increasing emphasis on personal hygiene and convenience, and the decreasing costs of disposable products." \n\n3. In the second paragraph, instead of saying "That is because disposable products that are prevalent such as one-use chopsticks and underwear are mainly packed in sterile means," you can rephrase it as: "This is because commonly used disposable products such as single-use chopsticks and underwear are usually packaged in sterile materials." \n\n4. In the same paragraph, instead of saying "Hence, by aseptic nature of these items can individuals avoid the risks of exposing under certain transmissible diseases like flu," you can rephrase it as: "Therefore, the aseptic nature of these items allows individuals to minimize the risk of exposure to transmissible diseases such as the flu." \n\n5. In the third paragraph, instead of saying "Moreover, the inappropriate overuse of disposable items may result in following trouble," you can rephrase it as: "Furthermore, the excessive use of disposable items can lead to the following issues." \n\n6. In the same paragraph, instead of saying "Therefore, more forestland is being used for waste burial, leading to deforestation," you can rephrase it as: "Consequently, an increasing amount of forestland is being utilized for waste disposal, leading to deforestation." \n\n7. In the fourth paragraph, instead of saying "Furthermore, as a part of thrown-away products are made by plastic, using these items in everyday life may lead to the inhalation of plastic particles," you can rephrase it as: "Moreover, since many disposable products are made of plastic, their usage in daily life can result in the inhalation of plastic particles." \n\n8. In the same paragraph, instead of saying "Eventually, this threats people’s health as contacting with a large amount of plastic may results in cancer," you can rephrase it as: "Ultimately, this poses a threat to people's health, as exposure to a large amount of plastic can increase the risk of cancer." \n\n9. In the conclusion, instead of saying "This social situation gives rise to two major problems: threats to personal health and a deteriorating environment," you can rephrase it as: "This societal trend gives rise to two significant problems: risks to personal health and environmental degradation." \n\n10. Finally, in the last sentence of the conclusion, instead of saying "Hence, only if we contribute to cut down the use of disposable items can we avoid above problems and pursue a brighter future both of our own and the earth," you can rephrase it as: "Therefore, by actively reducing the usage of disposable items, we can mitigate these problems and strive for a brighter future for ourselves and the planet." \n\nOverall, your essay is well-written, and with these suggested improvements, it will be even more coherent and grammatically accurate. Keep up the good work!